Remembering
by Cpt. Ritter
Summary: It reminded him oddly of a situation a year ago, only reversed...


_A/N: Response to this challenge... by Doxymom on Gateworld and Stargate Omega_

_Write the aftermath. Focus on JT but you may make it longer to include  
everyone--like Teyla talking to Carson or John to Liz or McKay._

In the ep, Teyla basically turns on John along with all the others. She acts  
like she thinks he's lost it and helps to not only track him down and stun  
him, but to imprison him. Did she interrogate him? Now that she's recovered  
does she remember everything? Does she feel guilty for not trusting John? Does  
she apologize? Is he a little leery or does he freely accept that she didn't  
mean it?

Write their talk after she has recovered and include all the emotional  
baggage that had to happen for each of them as a result of this.

John walked into the mess hall, feeling better than he had since Lucius had been there. Everything was more or less back to normal. Granted he was still giving Elizabeth a very hard time about how she had been cooking for Lucius, something she didn't even do for herself too often.

His cold was more or less gone, down to only a few sniffles. He grabbed a tray full of what he guessed was Pegasus galaxy chicken, seasoned with Athosian spices. They'd started eating it when their supplies ran low after two months of being here. Even though they now had Earth food again, many of the original members of the expedition still ate the Pegasus galaxy dishes.

He sat down at a table along the edge of the open mess hall, which gave him a wide view of the east side of the city and kept a cool ocean breeze to counteract the effects of the Atlantean sun. He ate the first bites of his chicken, idly wondering if Teyla was going to show up.

It had become a habit. They generally had lunch together, whether or not they sparred in the morning. He hadn't seen too much of Teyla since they'd returned from Lucius planet yesterday. It was starting to gnaw at him.

"May I join you?" Teyla asked.

John glanced up, surprised he hadn't seen her enter the mess hall. "We always have lunch together Teyla, of course."

Teyla didn't smile like he expected her to, but given some of the events that had happened with Lucius, he wasn't surprised. He knew that many of the expedition members were remembering a lot of what happened, and a lot of that was not good. "You okay?" He asked.

"Colonel... John... I." Teyla faltered. "I have been remembering things." She finished quietly.

John nodded, finding their situations very similar to almost a year ago when he'd turned into a bug. That alone made him shudder. He hated those things. "You weren't in control." He said after a moment.

John was nearly finished with his food, it was when he finally noticed that Teyla didn't have a tray of food in front of her. "You not hungry?" He asked, Teyla generally had a hearty appetite.

"No." Teyla replied. "Could we go somewhere... else."

"Sure." John replied, downing the last of his water, then standing up. "Let's take a walk."

Teyla was unusually withdrawn, and it was starting to worry John. He assumed he'd find out soon enough what was really bugging her. He left his tray for the kitchen crew to deal with, then both he and Teyla walked out of the mess hall, heading up to the top of the tower.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, long enough to reach an isolated balcony. John detoured to it, the door opening to his ATA gene. He leaned against the railing. "You sure you're okay?" He asked.

Teyla gazed out into the ocean. Her brow knitted with what looked like confusion. "I..." She stopped after that, closing her eyes and leaning against the balcony.

"It wasn't you." John replied, guessing that she was trying to talk about what had happened with Lucius. "I don't blame you."

"I do not know what to say." Teyla admitted after another moment of silence.

"I was ready to shoot Lucius after he sent you to that planet." John said, trying to hopefully break the ice. "I half considered shooting him after we took off in the jumper."

"Yet you did not."

"No, just isn't me." John replied, gazing sideways at her. She seemed so fragile at that moment, so close to tears. It broke his heart. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I betrayed your trust." Teyla said. "I helped capture you. I interrogated you."

John thought back to the feelings of betrayal he'd had. The anger, the pain. In truth, he wasn't sure if his anger had been directed at Lucius or Teyla. He glanced down at the shallow knife wound in the palm of his hand. It had been the one knife wound Lucius had gotten Teyla to do. He still wasn't certain how.

He breathed out deeply. "I don't blame you Teyla." He repeated.

"I am not sure I can forgive myself." Teyla opened her hand, revealing a fresher version of the same mark. "After I remembered..." Her eyes were watery.

John crossed the small distance between them, draping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her into a gentle embrace. "You didn't need to do that Teyla." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Teyla opened released all she'd been holding back, her whole body shaking with the silent tears. "I am so sorry John." She said, burying her head in his chest.

He tightened his grip around her, giving her a gentle squeeze. Then he pulled her back just enough to look her in the eyes. "Teyla, I could never hate you. You had my forgiveness from the moment Lucius made you torture me." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "You had my forgiveness from the moment you lost control." He paused again. "You'll always have my forgiveness."

He embraced Teyla again, letting her dry up her tears in his arms. They were on an isolated balcony, here neither of them had to pretend. It only took a few minutes for Teyla to regain control of her emotions.

"Anything else?" He asked, gently massaging her shoulders.

"No."

"He didn't try to bed you..." John asked tentatively. "...did he?"

For the first time since she'd come to him in the mess hall, Teyla smiled. "No. He seemed far more interested in Doctor Weir."

John exhaled, not realizing he'd been holding his breath for the bad news. "Thank god."

Teyla smiled, reaching up to place a kiss on his cheek. "You are welcome." She paused. "John."

They touched foreheads. John felt better than he had in days.


End file.
